OWNING YOUR PERSONAL POWER
- Makwena Makgwane
Many people don’t like the idea of power and associate it with negative concepts like inequality and exploitation. Wondering how personal power can help you excel in life (and throughout life in general)?
Personal power is power that is unrelated to outer status, rank or position. Instead, it is a source of strength and energy that comes from within; it’s a combination of your values, ideas, knowledge, and skills, and understanding how to use it can make you a better person.
As people God gave us the ability to express and use our personal power however, if we do not use this inner stability (i.e. personal power), we are more likely to use it ineffectively through aggression, intimidation or passivity. When people use their power within, it provides them with the capacity to imagine and have hope, to affirm their worth and recognize the power they have to shape their own lives (Power To) and how they can work with others for collective strength(Power With) to bring dignity and fulfilment.
No one can gift you with personal power. Yes, you may be rich, be a person of influence or perhaps even be worshipped, however, if you don’t own your personal you will never be content with yourself and your life. For personal power does not come from an external source or important title, instead true personal power is generated from within.
Owning your power allows you to stand up for yourself, negotiate for yourself, and demonstrate your strength while admitting when you’re wrong. It takes power to allow yourself to be vulnerable and compassionate without losing yourself in the process.
The good news is that we all have power. The trick is to connect with it and own it. Some people are born with more self-confidence than others, but there are many ways we can grow our sense of personal power, now, even if we aren’t naturally confident.
So you are probably wondering how and where I start to own my power? Well, it takes basic steps for one to step into their personal power.
TELL YOUR OWN AUTHENTIC STORY
Personal power is not just what we can do, but how we feel. And how we feel is connected to our inner dialogue, our self-talk.
So do you narrate your experience in a way that sets us up to succeed? Or does your self-talk create anxiety, fear, or self-doubt?
How you frame what happens to you has a profound and decisive influence on everything from your health and well-being to your ability to bounce back from defeat. Become aware of the stories you tell yourself about yourself, about what’s happening, and about the challenges you face. And make sure the stories you tell are ones that help you become more effective at what you do.
You can tell yourself a story that generates anxiety, self-doubt, or blame: “I’ll never make it.”, “He’s out to get me.”; or you can tell a story that’s characterized by positivity, curiosity, and a willingness to learn: “This might be hard but think of all the things I’ll learn by going through it.”
CHANGE THE TONE OF YOUR INNER DIALOGUES
Have you ever paused and checked whether you are talking life or death to yourself and over your life? Well, nothing can sabotage you more than letting negative self-talk dominate your thoughts. Negative self-talk paralyzes you from taking action, holds you back from sharing your thoughts and ideas, and prevents you from taking risks and exploring new opportunities. These thoughts will literally empty your fuel tank, and once you’re out of gas, you no longer have power.
Listen to these negative voices and label them as such. Self-awareness is the first step to owning your power. Don’t let these limiting beliefs control your life and your success. Release the thoughts, reframe, and replace them with positive affirmations.
KNOW YOURSELF
Your personal power stems from, first and foremost, your personality traits and characteristics: those qualities you’re born with, such as being easygoing or driven; reserved or sociable; demure or confident; cautious or bold.
Any trait can be a superpower for you. It completely depends on how you use it! Do you use your personality traits correctly, for the right reason, at the right time and place? If you don’t take the time to get to know yourself and embrace your unique characteristics, then you won’t be able to use your personality with discernment.
GET HOLD OF YOUR EMOTIONS
Before you can master power, you have to master your own emotional world. You lose power when you let your emotions get the best of you. You allow outer situations to direct your behaviour and overreact.
Being able to respond — and not just react — comes from knowledge of and comfort with your emotions. Mastering your emotions requires being open to your feelings — not judging them — and reflecting upon them in order to discover what they can teach you about yourself.
AIM HIGH, BUT ALSO BE OK WITH WHERE YOU ARE IN LIFE
You have to embrace the hard things as they’re happening — the low moments, challenges, crises of confidence — because they also bring unparalleled rewards. We source much of our personal power from the most difficult times in life. And if we turn against these experiences of low rank, we lose that precious superpower. Not only do we miss a crucial source of Personal Power, but nothing makes us more vulnerable than the inability to be vulnerable.
No matter what your background or personality type is, building personal power can give you some major advantages in all parts of life.
Valuable
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